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Netflix movie wizardry does it again, producing a masterpiece of social justice.
Late one night at the Necromancy Occult & Black Incantations Group Of Thaumaturgy Schools, otherwise known as NO BIGOTS, the magic professors save infant Larry Suter by sending him to live with his aunt, K.J. Scowling. Scowling is supposed to keep Larry safe so he may one day fulfill his destiny and stop VoldiTrump, the evil wizard who killed Larry’s parents. Not at all like other Jesus-infused, derivative, savior-archetype stories.
Larry must now endure childhood trauma because, unbeknownst to everyone, Scowling is a transphobic children’s fiction writer, loved and adored by millions of people who wrongly believe her an intelligent freethinker for having written many bad books. Worse yet, his wicked aunt secretly loves VoldiTrump and tries to impress him by causing Larry many hardships. Renaming Larry to Hairy when he displays gender and sexual curiosity, Scowling claims the name change will remind him girls have puders, not boys. She even makes him attend church and Jesus camp for queers while wearing suits like VoldiTrump because real men dress in business suits and spout hatred. Hairy’s life fills with deceit, wickedness, and a lack of compassion, keeping him from learning his true identity, causing bullying, bad grades, and drug use.
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Tonight on Netflix
Learn if “Steamy Sandwiches” is the Meal Viewers Hunger For
Sex, Gender, & Race Can’t be Cancelled
If Gone With the Wind and Deep Throat had an affair, the limited series Steamy Sandwiches would be the bastard child. Somewhere between drama and comedy, Steamy Sandwiches twists and turns on the race-gender-sexuality roller coaster equivalent of Space Mountain. Is it a story marking the importance of change or a sellout trying to capitalize on outrage culture?
When Vinnie LXIX ages out of the porn industry, he finds himself unemployable and hopeless. Spending his last dollars, Vinnie throws himself into his almost forgotten dream of owning a food truck. Convinced of the opportunity for success, retired gay porn star Big Rhonda, partners with Vinnie, and they drive their mobile food business, Steamy Sandwiches, into the City of Angels.
Steamy Sandwiches offers a comedic menu of diverse foods, including Angel-Hair Pies, The LGBT Delight (Lettuce Guacamole Bacon Tomato), The Hungry-Man Wiener, and Brownie Stars. An overnight success, Steamy Sandwiches is a popularity wildfire racing through the streets of Hollywood.
But success breeds enemies, and soon the dominant, rival food truck, Holy Rollers, tries to put them out of business, falsely claiming traditional food rolls are healthier than Steamy Sandwiches. Using lies, exaggerations, and out-of-control self-righteousness, the Holy Rollers attempt to destroy Steamy Sandwiches, zealously believing a divine right to force their lunch brand upon LA’s masses.
Little do the Holy Rollers realize, Steamy Sandwiches is a beacon of hope rallying aging porn stars, the sexually liberated, intellectuals, and freedom fighters everywhere to help Vinnie and Big Rhonda save their dream.
A one-hour episode of this limited series packs more diversity than a week at Burning Man. Set in the eighties, the cinematography has the feel of Porky’s but the seriousness of On Golden Pond. You laugh but at the same time find yourself cheering Big Rhonda and Vinnie as they serve LA’s masses congregating to their food truck for finally having a lunch choice other than a Sermon Sandwich or Born-again Bagel.
Quirky, hilarious, sometimes corny, just the right amount of action, and often heart-wrenching, Steamy Sandwiches packs a hard punch to the funny bone and heart. Perhaps Steamy Sandwiches leverages outrage culture, but Steamy Sandwiches shows there are still many things to outrage over. Bravo!
We now return to Hairy Puder & The Philosopher’s Bone
A decade of suffering passes, and right when Hairy feels he can’t endure another day, a magic rainbow appears and leads him to NO BIGOTS. Hairy learns he is not a freak or chosen child but one of many beloved, accepted children destined to find the Philosopher’s Bone. When VoldiTrump hears of Hairy’s admission to NO BIGOTS, his fury launches a quest to find the mythical device that infuses people with critical thought: the one weapon that can defeat VoldiTrump. Hairy and new friends race to stop VoldiTrump and Scowling before they misuse the Philosopher’s Bone and lead humanity into a new dark age. After a long battle, Hairy captures the Bone and rubs it on VoldiTrump, releasing its power. The Philosopher’s Bone fails since critical thought requires some intelligence but successfully banishes VoldiTrump to Florida, where he spends his days crying about losing. Similarly, Scowling finds her books banished to the dollar bin at Walmart. A breathtaking story ended brilliantly with a young girl, Mary Suter, finding her true home at NO BIGOTS.
Coming soon!
The Chamber of the Privileged
Don’t cancel my membership! I love you, Netflix.
