How does anyone be sanguine in these times?
Contentment
Used to be
almost profanity to me.
To say it, feel it,
think about it,
and to accept it
implied a giving-up.
When one is young
it’s not contentment
that drives us.
Add to this,
the increasing madness
and bullshit of our times
and finding even a small taste
of satisfaction and happiness
becomes quite a challenge.
But that’s changed
and this change came about
despite the world,
and slowly,
over the years.
I still dream grand schemes
of immortality
and greatness,
total happiness,
fame and fortune;
but time and age
have created a wide space in me
for satisfaction and contentment
in the moments/things/the time
I have left.
My 75th birthday is only a few weeks away,
many of my writing mentors
died before that year of their lives.
Relishing the present
when a moment
is not full of pain,
and even when pain is present
I have the ability, now,
to sustain my recollection
of those soft, gentle times
that make being alive
worth the trouble:
a happy hour full of laughter,
a breeze blowing lightly
through the trees.
One day maybe
I’ll unravel whether these moments
provide contentment
or contentment provides these moments.
But for now, and I hope for always,
whichever way that trail runs,
I’ll just be glad to be on it.
Photo by Anukrati Omar on Unsplash