There are very few pure universals in modern American life, but there ARE some...
When I’m driving on the freeway
stuck behind
some geriatric
in a Subaru Outback
going
58 mph in the 75 mph passing lane,
I’m screamin’
“Drive it or park it!”
When I’m doing 40 mph
in a 30 mph zone
and some teen-beat-asshole
is tailgating me
I’m like
“Where’s the Fire?”
And then,
when I consider his age
and mine
(yep, I’m also geriatric
like the guy in the Subaru)
I sigh a little;
but then I slow down…
. . . to
29 MPH.
