Ageism as a Form of Discrimination
I am old, older than I ever imagined I would be. But I’m NOT retired because I still type up shit like this. And I’m not totally useless just because I’m not interested in all the same shit I used to care about. I am not a victim of ageism because I refuse to play victim of anything, ever. But this doesn’t mean I don’t see what the fuck is going on.
Ageism is a form of discrimination that targets older people based on negative stereotypes and prejudices. It can manifest in various ways, such as exclusion, harassment, abuse, or denial of opportunities and rights. One of the common forms of ageism is the assumption that older people are less capable, productive, or valuable than younger people. This assumption can have a negative impact on the way older people view themselves and their role in society, especially when it comes to retirement.
Retirement is a major life transition that involves changes in income, social status, identity, and daily activities. It can be a source of stress, anxiety, or depression for some older people, especially if they feel forced to retire or lack adequate financial and social support. However, retirement can also be a positive and rewarding experience for many older people, who can enjoy more leisure time, pursue new interests, or contribute to their communities in different ways.
The relationship between ageism and negative stereotypes about retirement is complex and bidirectional.
The relationship between ageism and negative stereotypes about retirement is complex and bidirectional. On one hand, ageism can influence how older people perceive and experience retirement. For example, if older people internalize the negative stereotypes about retirement, they may feel less satisfied, motivated, or fulfilled with their post-retirement life. They may also face more barriers or challenges in accessing health care, education, or civic participation. On the other hand, negative stereotypes about retirement can reinforce ageism in society. For example, if retirement is seen as a sign of decline, dependency, or irrelevance, older people may be devalued or discriminated against by younger people or institutions.
Therefore, it is important to challenge and combat both ageism and negative stereotypes about retirement. This can be done by raising awareness, promoting intergenerational dialogue and solidarity, creating inclusive and supportive environments for older people, and recognizing and celebrating the diversity and contributions of older people in all aspects of life.
What are the most common misunderstandings adult children feel and think about their aging parents?
As our parents grow older, we may find ourselves in a role reversal where we have to take care of them and make decisions for them. This can be a challenging and emotional transition, especially if we have some misconceptions about their needs, preferences, and abilities. Here are some of the most common misunderstandings adult children feel and think about their aging parents, and how to overcome them.
Assumptions about living arrangements. Some adult children wrongly assume that their aging parents are attached to their home and would resist any suggestion of moving to a different place, such as a senior living community or an assisted living facility. However, this may not be true for all parents. Some may actually welcome the idea of living in a more supportive and social environment, where they can enjoy activities, amenities, and companionship. Others may be open to the possibility of downsizing or relocating closer to their family or friends. And indeed, some older people might want more than anything to stay in their home. The best way to find out what your parents want is to have an honest and respectful conversation with them, and listen to their opinions and concerns.
They can’t handle technology. Another common misunderstanding is that aging parents are clueless or fearful of technology, and that they don’t need or want to use it. However, many older adults are actually quite tech-savvy and enjoy using devices such as smartphones, tablets, laptops, and smart speakers. Technology can also be a great tool for staying connected, informed, entertained, and independent. For example, video calls can help you keep in touch with your parents and see how they are doing. Online platforms can help them access information, services, and resources. Apps and games can help them stimulate their cognitive skills and have fun. Smart devices can help them control their home environment and monitor their health. Of course, not all parents are comfortable or proficient with technology, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn or benefit from it. You can help your parents by choosing user-friendly devices and apps, teaching them how to use them, and providing ongoing support and encouragement.
What do they (old farts) have to worry about if they are out of… the production/consumption loop that has trapped them for all their lives?
They are always happy and content. Some adult children may want to think that their aging parents are always happy and content with their lives, and that they don’t have any worries or problems. After all, what do they have to worry about if they are out of the societal reality nightmare of the production/consumption loop that has trapped them for all their earlier adult lives? However, this may not be the case for many older adults. Aging can bring many challenges and changes, such as declining health, reduced mobility, loss of independence, social isolation, financial stress, grief, and depression. These issues can affect your parents’ mood, well-being, and quality of life. Therefore, it is important to check in with your parents regularly and ask them how they are feeling and coping. You can also help them by providing emotional support, finding professional help if needed, and encouraging them to engage in activities that bring them joy and meaning.
You may have recently seen the same viral, human interest national news story I saw, a report of a group of young adult grandchildren who decided to surprise their grandparents with a spontaneous sleepover. I have to say that this is a terrible idea for several reasons.
I saw, this report of a group of young adult grandchildren who decided to surprise their grandparents with a spontaneous sleepover. They brought pizza, sleeping bags, games and movies, and showed up at their grandparents’ home uninvited and unexpected. The video shows the grandparents’ reactions of shock, joy and gratitude, and the grandchildren’s excitement and happiness. The video has been shared millions of times on social media, with many people commenting on how sweet, thoughtful and fun the gesture was.
I have to say that this is a terrible idea: It violates the grandparents’ privacy and autonomy. Grandparents have the right to decide when and how they want to spend time with their grandchildren, and to prepare for their visits accordingly. Showing up unannounced and uninvited is disrespectful and intrusive, especially if the grandparents have other plans, commitments or health issues that they may not want to share with their grandchildren. The entire cutesy, feel-good story is centered in the uselessness of the grandparents' shitty lives and existence, after all, what the fuck else do these old farts have to do but cream their jeans over this surprise visit by their precious teen and 20-somethings charging into the old folks' lives? It exposes the grandparents to potential health risks. Grandparents are more vulnerable to infections, allergies and injuries than younger people, and may have chronic conditions that require medication, diet or lifestyle adjustments. Bringing pizza, which is high in fat, salt and calories, may not be suitable for their dietary needs. Playing games or watching movies may be too loud, too bright or too stimulating for their sensory systems or they may simply hate that kind of shit. And of course, there is always the risk of transmitting or catching a contagious disease.
It creates unrealistic expectations and pressures for both parties. Grandparents may feel obligated to entertain, accommodate and please their grandchildren, even if they are tired, stressed or unwell. They may also feel guilty or inadequate if they cannot keep up with their grandchildren’s energy, interests or demands. Grandchildren may feel disappointed or frustrated if their grandparents are not as enthusiastic, fun or available as they hoped. They may also feel bored or restless if their grandparents’ home is not as comfortable, spacious or equipped as their own.
It undermines the quality and meaning of intergenerational relationships. Grandparents and grandchildren can benefit from spending time together, but not in a superficial, impulsive or forced way. They need to respect each other’s boundaries, preferences and needs, and communicate clearly and honestly about their expectations and feelings. They also need to plan ahead and agree on the activities, duration and frequency of their visits, and make sure they are mutually enjoyable and beneficial. By doing so, they can build trust, intimacy and understanding, and create lasting memories.
In conclusion, a surprise sleepover may seem like a fun and loving idea, but it is actually a bad one that can cause more harm than good. If you want to show your grandparents how much you care about them, there are better ways to do it than crashing at their place uninvited. You can call them regularly, send them cards or gifts, invite them over for dinner or a special occasion, or arrange a trip together when it is safe and convenient for both of you. And most importantly, you can respect their wishes, listen to their stories, and appreciate their wisdom. Or leave them the fuck alone unless you have crystal clear signals that they want your company.
I don’t hate children. I just don’t like them much.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I’m a crazy old person who hates children and wants to destroy them. Well, you’re wrong. I don’t hate children. I just don’t like them much, and for me even when they “grow-up” they can still be wildly annoying. Bottom line, even if children are the future, I don’t care.
There is no credible evidence that children, especially adult kids help anybody with anything. There is no scientific proof, and there can’t ever be any because they usually aren’t helpful, and think about it, every exciting new experience and knowledge a young adult gains, an older adult has probably already gone through. You can only experience a new thing once, after that it’s not new anymore.
Even if adult kids helping their elders does exist somewhere in the vast universe, they are not the future of humanity. They are not our saviors, our friends, or our enemies. They are irrelevant to us approaching death’s door in the present, in the here and now. Why should we care about some distant beings who have nothing to do with us? Why should we waste our time and resources trying to communicate with them, learn from them, or fight them? We have enough problems on our own to deal with.
Even if some adult children grow up to give a shit about their parents, I don’t care. I’m not afraid of them, nor am I curious about them. I’m indifferent. They can do whatever they want, as long as they leave me alone. I don’t want to join their cumbia sleepover bullshit. I just want to live my life as I please, without any interference from anyone until it’s time for me to die, then I plan on dying, preferably alone so that when my bowels empty, that won’t be the last thing my precious loved ones think about me.
So, there you have it. My justification for why I don’t believe that children are the future, and why I don’t care even if they are. You may think I’m ignorant, arrogant, or apathetic, but that’s your problem, not mine. I’m happy with my worldview, and nothing will change it.
Unless… unless they offer me a free use of their crotch-rocket motorcycles or pricey gifts that I can re-gift or take back for the bucks — then maybe I’ll reconsider.
