Love & Complicated Intimacy

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Love & Complicated Intimacy

Lover's Cross

Note: Triggering

Inscriptions III.

I can’t hang on no lover’s cross
Take your thorns and accept your loss
Life is the coin and toss
You can keep your sorrow and your loss
I can’t hang on no lover’s cross.

Woman, don’t even act out that play
You knew that first day
The man I was, my evil way

Woman, don’t even act out that play
Like you’re the victim for to say,
“He was bad and made me go astray!”

Woman, don’t even act out that play
You knew that first day
The man I was, your evil way.

Lover’s Cross

Your life was over at the age of five
When your Daddy put his dick between your thighs
Christ! I couldn’t count the times
That I heard your weeping eyes
Feel sorry for me!
Hold me, love me!
Tell me that you care for me!
Christ I can’t think of why
Why with you I had to try.


You are typical of most of the whores I’ve known
You want relationships to be
The perfect thing
No arguments
Not one trouble’s sting
You put out from your thighs
Not from wisdom’s eye.


You acted like you were my mother
Preaching like too principled a lover
“Don’t you steal, it’s not a need!
“Don’t you deal, it’s a bad deed!”
But you sure as hell had no qualm
When you held the money in your palm.


Those first two semesters
I had no inclination for your wounding
I really wished your mending
But you wouldn’t stop your whining
I played your little game
Let you believe you made me tame
You’re so foolish
And you’re to blame.


I fucked you for a while
And feasted to my fill
I took all I could
Drinking from the purest still
Until I was drunk with passion’s drink
Tired of your bitching, moaning and romantic stink
Get the fuck out and stay away.
This I was more than glad to say.


I heard you scream when I told you to go away
Outside your door, your final weeping play
I was so dulled to your sorrow’s violence
I stood a moment in thinking silence
Then laughed and laughed away.

Virgin Whore

You begged for it little virgin whore!
You wanted to know what love was for
You wanted to feel the passion’s lore
Oh, woman
I gave you more than you ever bargained for
My love was a sword!
My hips were jack hammers to gore!
You said, “Stop!”
I gave you more.


Do you understand?
That I’m not a man
That I am an animal
My love is a cannibal
I liked tasting your flesh
Working your body
Making it sweat
Going down on you
My tongue moved so rude
And when your struggles lacked
The passion’s fighting flack
I gave you my hand’s back
Across your ass, across your face
My love was your disgrace.


I treated you like any whore
I fucked you hard and loved you little.


I never loved you
Not even when I wanted to help you
You were just on the list going down
Another fuck, another lust
You were just my groin’s luck
Just another slut in my loin’s vicinity
Too bad you sacrificed your virginity.

My Nubile, Gorgeous, 2nd Wife

Dream lover

Funny thing is I can’t recall quite what she looked like in my dream, even though it was just last night.

I do remember that I felt nervous and I know that I didn’t care all that much about not caring about sex.

Our discussion was mostly about the need to have an “open” relationship, what with me already being quite happily married to my first wife Patti, my age, 73, who I had yet to explain about this second wife, who was young and likely needing far more sex than I was interested in trying to provide despite her nubile gorgeousness.

We’re not Muslim and indeed, having a 2nd wife is against the law where we live but this didn’t come up for discussion in my dream.

I felt a vague, rather slight sense of discomfort over the whole multiple wives situation, nothing too bad, more just hoping that Patti understood why I wanted a second wife...

Because I sure as fuck didn’t know.

Sex & Love: The Duality

The disaster of our western cultural tradition of trying to force these life experiences together

Sex and love reside in a duality we prefer not to examine too closely despite a lifetime of wishing we could get it all just right.

So She Glances Back At Me...

(This happens sometimes, it truly does) ...and seeing as how I’m glancing at her, in that exact moment, it feels like I should say something... ANY-SOME-DAMN-THING but even I, believe it or not, can find myself tongue-tied from time to time, like this time.

You Spot Her Across a Room

And you think, HOLY SHIT!!! Instant, in-loveness!

Your first thought right after “HOLY SHIT!! Is she ever fuckin gorgeous!” happens to be a flash, blink type reaction, a burst about Mona Lisa, along this line:

“Blue tutu, that tilt of yer head and that gorgeous nipple and a wisp of hair draping yer shoulders; But more than anything, that expression: (Eyes, lips, smile? Grimace? What? WHAT???) Mona Lisa’s got nothin’ on you, kid.”

So you jot this shit down and pretend your done with it, but guess what, mo-fo, she ain’t done with you!

There was this one time...

And only this one time once while in the midst of getting oral sex, from a woman I liked all right but didn’t feel all that attracted to, she was her on her knees, me standing, pants down around my ankles in what must have looked like a rather undignified pose, her kids asleep in a nearby bedroom she and I on her kitchen floor. I started to lose interest she paused, and appearing to recognize this, Removing her mouth from around my cock asked, very sweetly, “Don’t you wanna cum in my face?” as if she were querying whether or not I’d like another cookie or another beer. I honestly don’t remember What I answered Or what happened next, which I know kind of leaves you hanging, but this was a very long time ago. I can assure you, however, I’ve never forgotten her or the polite tone of her interrogatory. And, sorry to say, nobody has ever asked me that question, ever again.

A Simple Explanation

Sometimes it’s hard to get a message across...

(A brief meditation on relationships, their failures, fair or not)

When I tell you That I’m never going To leave the woman Taking the starring role in my life, And I treat you as a Best Supporting Actress Nominee Because that’s exactly what you are to me, And I never vary From this theme/plot point, And I tell you many times, “I’ll never leave her for you But I’ll happily keep fucking you Because even though You’ve gained a hundred pounds Your boobs are proportionally Huger too and I’m a boobs man, Plus you are outrageous In your desires to please me And to be abused for doing so But remember, I’ll never leave her for you Or for anyone. Never!!”

I dunno, Maybe I shoulda used more Exclamation points and all CAPS And tried Harder to make myself clear. You were the Best Supporting Actress In the action porno-film Where we lived And as such I’ll never forget you And I’ll always be Indebted to you, but, yeah, I always told you And you always refused to hear me And I’m gonna have to insist That however much and however long You’ve hated me, Hey, I always told you the truth. My story never varied And your decision to ignore it Or disbelieve it That shit lands right on you Big girl.

Mona Lisa, 2016

Some things never change

Short skirt, that tilt of yer head and subtle cleavage and a wisp of hair draping yer neck almost like a necklace. But more than anything, that expression: (Eyes, lips, smile? Grimace? What? WHAT???) Mona Lisa’s got nothin’ on you, kid.


Not so great at it I’m afraid

I’ve never been a good husband, and at this age I have no goals or desire to ever be one. I AM one, a husband, probably better now than I was in my previous three failed marriages, but I don’t care much about that. I take no pleasure or pride in anyone thinking I’m a good husband.

Seriously, fuck that.

To be a husband is to be a caricature, a cartoon character, the butt of jokes, and a never-ending example of failure. The default position of husband is to deny that you want to fuck every attractive woman you see and even to pretend that you don’t even SEE them. This core requirement all alone tells you everything you need to know about the essential denial of self involved in playing this sick role. The tragic position of wives has been marvelously dissected, examined and explained by the Feminist Movement ad nauseum, but husbands just keep plodding along, failures before the race has even begun. The economics of modern life and the demands of religious/moral rules invented to create a safe environment for raising offspring require that the man sublimate his every natural and instinctual impulse to the emasculating, castrating position of husband.

So, have you selected your “Best man” and your “grooms” for your wedding yet?

It’s like getting to pick what color hood your executioner will wear for your hanging — only the death sentence of becoming a husband is never that quick and humane.

Advice to You

Let me depart with a word or two
A little advice from me to you
Stop believing, start deceiving
Forget your pain it’s just a game
Sometimes you lose, sometimes you gain
Let Satan be your master
Don’t be kind — be a bastard
Love everything that’s wrong
Hate everyone
Be forever strong
See you around,

Just Weighing Separator
The Impermanence Love ~ Lust ~ Sex