GOP Politics Puked From Headlines After a Bad Florida Trip

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The Only Acceptable Excuse for Believing Conservatives

Not just fucked up – Florida fucked up!

Waking up from the Florida Bad Trip

DeSantis Bad Trip

Dude, guess what? I had a wild night. I dreamed I went to Florida, and girl, that place is crazy. You know, they have this guy DeSantis who runs the place like a dictator. He hates anything that’s woke, whatever that means. He thinks he’s so cool, but he’s actually fucking the people who live there. They have like no health care, no education, no elder care, no nothing. They’re just left to fend for themselves. And the workers, man, they get paid peanuts. Like literally peanuts. The minimum wage there is like $8 an hour or something. And if they complain, they get their wages stolen by their bosses. And DeSantis doesn’t do anything about it. He actually tried to stop them from getting a raise. Can you believe that? What a jerk.

All them headlines must be gettin' to me...

Trump Supporters Move to Florida Seeking Refuge

You go MAGA’s . . . You GO!

What a wonderful place for the Tangerine Imbecile fans to congregate, especially now that Sturgis has wrapped up for the year.

What pandemic?

It’s all a lie. Anita Bryant country: beach volleyball, blue skies glorious sunshine, and wild, free oranges loaded with all the vitamin C yer gonna need to fight off the Covid plague that doesn’t even exist.

Tolstoy wrote for the last years of his life much more about spiritual matters and social, societal issues than about epic, grand scale love stories and errant women/wives throwing themselves in front of trains, because direct dealing with the mysteries and big questions felt more right to him.

I’m not Tolstoy, (although my books have been right next to his in at least one library I’ve visited), but when I write about politics, I’m not writing about politics,

I’m writing about human foibles, our fucking idiocy, vanity, and self-destructive arrogant delusions leading so many of us into disaster —

Like I was saying, FLORIDA, You betcha, great choice MAGA folks, you go!



‘You’re all going to hell’: Woman unleashes bizarre anti-mask speech at Florida school officials.

Taking a political stand isn’t the same as being overly political

I don’t know about you, but when someone on the other side of a political debate pulls out the old “demonic entities” argument, I always get a little nervous while staring right at me. The best way for killing demonic entities is driving a stake through the heart of the suspected and accused. Wood will do, but a solid silver pointy-tipped cross soaked in Garlic, and blessed by a prosperity Gospel pastor, is still the best. I mean, this is common knowledge right?

The problem here is that even if it turns out that I’m not a demonic entity, nor even being controlled by one. once that spike punctures my heart it’s a little late to realize that a mistake may have been made. Taking my mask off and trying CPR? Nope, too late. Praying real hard while laying hands upon my blood gushing body, even with the best of intentions — sorry, no offense big prayers and prayer groups, but much like mouth to mouth resuscitation is contraindicated in cases of decapitation, such measures have a history of very limited efficacy.

Wisdom is, according to Erik Erikson: “An informed and detached concern for life itself in the face of death itself.”

So, back to those scary-eyed stares of ranting true-believers at school board meetings and elsewhere, my comments about politics are more for the fun of calling crazies crazy, then out of any desire to have concerns with my demonic entity identity whether suspected or convinced, eliminated. Thanks very much, just the same.

Praise be to Trump!.

Where’s your gift registry?

If you go crazy, shit-faced, drunken nuts on your wedding day and the cops grab you and haul your ass into jail and you fight with them and start screaming about T***p — where, exactly, does your bride go first and last for handling her wedding night? Does your best man post bail or does he fill in like he thinks life is a porno shoot “standing up’ for the groom in more ways than one? When we look back at Rome falling everybody gets all uptight about Nero playing his fiddle or Caligula forcing bestiality on Senator’s wives. I’ve always been more interested in the fact that: Wealthy Romans ate off lead plates while the less affluent citizens had to make do with ceramic shit. So lots of poor people lived into their 70's and lots of wealthy folks, going nuts with lead poisoning rarely made it past their mid-30's. "Kneel before the Donald" was this a curse towards the cops or a proclamation of white rights and entitlement? And do you think the best man and the bride, if they hooked-up for a Bang Brother’s style feature length adult entertainment discussed this at all either in bed or out of it? Related; Sounds like a kick-ass wedding party. Maybe marriage isn’t ALL bad.

Lemme get this straight?!

You say a GOP guy from the great state of Florida, who was loudly and rabidly anti-Fauci, has died of Covid? Who could have ever seen this coming?

In a shocking twist of fate, a Republican politician from Florida, who was a vocal critic of Dr. Anthony Fauci and his public health guidelines, has succumbed to Covid-19. The politician, whose name we will not reveal out of respect for his family (and also because we don’t want to give him any more publicity), was known for his inflammatory remarks and conspiracy theories about the pandemic. He once called Fauci a “fraud” and a “liar” who was “trying to destroy America” with his “fake science” and “tyrannical mandates”. He also claimed that Covid-19 was a “hoax” and a “plandemic” orchestrated by the “deep state” and the “global elite” to control the population and undermine President Trump. He refused to wear a mask, social distance, or get vaccinated and encouraged his followers to do the same. He even held several rallies and events where he mocked and ridiculed those who took the virus seriously.

Unfortunately for him, Covid-19 did not care about his political views or his personal opinions. It infected him, along with several of his close associates and supporters, and caused him to develop severe symptoms that required hospitalization. Despite receiving the best medical care available, he could not overcome the virus that he had denied and defied for so long. He passed away, leaving behind a legacy of ignorance, arrogance, and irresponsibility.

His death has sparked mixed reactions from the Florida public. Some have expressed sympathy while others have shown little remorse or regret for his demise. Some have even said that he got what he deserved, and that his death was a fitting example of karma and poetic justice. (Those that the Florida education system did not fail and understood "karma" and "poetic"). Some have also pointed out the irony and hypocrisy of his situation, noting that he had attacked Fauci, who had dedicated his life to saving lives and fighting diseases, while he himself had contributed to spreading misinformation and endangering lives.

Whatever one may think of him, his death is a tragic reminder of the reality and severity of Covid-19. It is also a warning to those who still doubt or dismiss the virus, or who refuse to follow the scientific advice and recommendations of experts like Fauci. Covid-19 is not a joke, a hoax, or a political tool. It is a deadly disease that can affect anyone, even Floridians, regardless of their age, gender, race, or ideology.

They are asking Floridians to wear masks, keep distance, avoid crowds, wash hands, and get vaccinated. These are simple and effective measures that can save lives and stop the spread of Covid-19. These are not unreasonable or oppressive demands that infringe on our rights or freedoms. These are reasonable and responsible actions that respect our health and safety.

If Floridians follow them, we can end this pandemic sooner rather than later. We can return to normalcy faster rather than slower. We can live longer rather than shorter.

If we don’t follow them, we may end up like the GOP guy from Florida who was loudly and rabidly anti-Fauci. We may end up dead.

Who could have ever seen this coming?

Don't Say Gay!

Florida’s children are in danger. Their Senate has passed a bill that would silence their voices and deny their identities. The bill, called the “Don’t Say Gay” bill by those who oppose it, would forbid public schools from teaching anything about LGBTQ people and issues. The bill’s supporters say they are protecting parents and values, but they are really hurting kids and families. The bill would make LGBTQ students feel invisible and unwelcome, and stop teachers from helping them feel safe and accepted. The bill would also keep other students from learning about diversity and respect. The bill is likely to become law because Governor Ron DeSantis has said he likes it. The bill is part of a wave of hate and fear that is sweeping the nation, but there are also many people who are fighting back. They are standing up for the rights and dignity of LGBTQ people, and calling for love and justice.

Florida for Everyone, Not Just the Privileged Few

Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis wants to be the next president, and he’s doing everything he can to get attention. He picks fights with anyone who disagrees with him, and he doesn’t care about the people who are hurt by his policies. He only cares about pleasing his wealthy supporters and his political allies. He doesn’t care that Florida is one of the worst states in the country when it comes to health care, education, elder care, and workers’ rights. He doesn’t care that Florida’s teachers are underpaid, that its workers are exploited, and that its minimum wage is barely enough to survive. He doesn’t care that Florida is a place where “woke goes to die” - as he likes to say - but also where millions of people struggle to live a decent life.

If you live in Florida, you might be feeling the effects of the oppressive policies that Governor Ron DeSantis has imposed on your state. You might be suffering from poor health care, low wages, inadequate education, or lack of protection from discrimination. You might be wondering why your governor is more interested in making headlines than making your life better. You might be looking for a change that will bring you more dignity, justice, and opportunity.

You are not alone. There are many people like you who are fed up with the way things are in Florida. There are also many people who are working hard to make a difference. They are organizing, mobilizing, and advocating for a better future for Florida. They are challenging the status quo and demanding accountability from their leaders. They are fighting for your rights and your well-being.

You can join them. You can make your voice heard. You can vote for candidates who share your values and vision. You can support initiatives that will improve your quality of life. You can stand up for yourself and your community. You can be part of the solution.

You deserve better than what Ron DeSantis has given you. You deserve a Florida that works for everyone, not just the privileged few. You deserve a Florida that is fair, inclusive, and progressive. You deserve a Florida that is truly the Sunshine State.

Man, you don’t know?

Dope Girl

We were in Florida! That was you.

You had some kinda Twilight Zone, Jekyll and Hyde shit goin' on. Florida made you fucked up crazy, running around being the Governor all obsessed declaring cultural war. You didn't care about nothing, especially not the people who supported you, which I must say were a bunch redneck, gun-totin', racist billies. But still, they loved you and you just shit all over them poor fuckers by making them work for the corporations you didn't tax. I don't know what happened to you, man, but I'm glad you made it back.

Remind me to not ever vote for your ass, if you run for president.

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Copyright Vincent Triola & Terry Trueman

Politicians, Pundits, & Other Parasites Puked From the Headlines